The best idea

-Hey

-Hey you!

-So what’s up?

-Oh Nothing much, the usual. You?

-Well, I wish I was as high as my credit card bill right now. I don’t think a lifetime will be enough to pay it back. My boss is still trying to get me into his bed and doesn't miss an opportunity to make me feel worthless.

Dad is physically here, but that’s pretty much it. His body’s still with me but he left me when mum died. His eyes are as empty as my bank account, but I still hope someday he’ll laugh to one of my lame jokes or shout at me, or even make a sound. At this point, him smiling at me would literally make me cry of happiness. I still hope he’ll come back to me even if the doctors told me not to. I need him to come back.

Oh and Alex called yesterday. We spent 3 hours on the phone. We talked about space, science, nature, racism, politics…pretty much anything. And not one minute of these 3 hours did I feel like it was enough, I wanted more. Every second was a blissful moment I didn’t want to let go. It was like discovering the world with a soul that somehow was deeply connected to mine. We reinvented the world. We created ours. He made me forget how depressed I've been feeling, he made me enjoy life again for 3 hours. Oh and we fought as usual, about the stupidest things of course. His mum gave me the recipe of her famous chicken I’ve been dying to cook for Dad. Her little sister asked me to sing that lullaby she loves so much before she sleeps. Then he had to hung up. His girlfriend was calling. He said, and I quote « gotta go bestie, bae is calling! ». I should

hate myself for falling in love with my best friend, but I'll think about it tomorrow. I’m too tired and way too sober for that right now.

-….Well I guess that bottle of wine was a good idea.

-You have no idea!