Pretending is real

For some people looking at the stars gives a sense of being whole. For others listening a loved one's laugh is the climax. As a little girl I would play alone most of the time. But it never felt like it. I had multiple companions, multiple stories, I could be anything, anyone I wanted to be. I was acting.

Watching a good movie always took me places. It still does. The 7th art is worthy of the name. When a story is beautifully told, it can create hope, joy and one can feel understood. Million things happen in our lives, and the people we love don't always understand us, but sometimes, just sometimes, a character does. Sometimes your story is being told and your family is watching without knowing it's you. Sometimes dreams, goals, ambitions emerge from watching characters struggle and thrive. A dialogue, a conversation can give you purpose. Given, it's not real, it's fiction, it's pretending, but we pretend everyday. We pretend to be straight, we pretend to want kids, to want to be married, we pretend we want to be doctors, we pretend we really want that promotion, we pretend Janine doesn't look awful in that dress.

We pretend without cameras, with no script, with no directions. Who's to say what's real ?

Movies make me excited about the future, about possibilities, about destiny. Movies restore hope in humanity. Some masterpiece expose injustice, harsh truths, danger. Some people aren't good at speaking, they excel at showing you. Showing you what could be, what should be, what used to be, what might be. Directors are conductors that actors, as musicians, follow to create art. To create a story, a world, awareness.

After watching A beautiful life, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I was forever changed. Hatchi made me feel like no one would ever love me as much. The Outsiders made me write Nothing Gold Can Stay and embrace every day, every moment with a little kid's eye.

I don't know how it feels to tell a story and show it to the world. I don't know what it's like to give your character life. To give your character a voice, a purpose, a dream. But someday I might. And that day, some other kid far away will feel understood.

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