Read while listening to *only you - Joshua Radin* or *Higher love - James Vincent mcmorrow*
Is it a bad sign that I feel like everything’s been said?
I literally look at my phone every minute
I hope he texted me
I also hope he didn’t
I hope he did cause I want those butterflies
I hope he didn’t cause I know he’s trouble
I would normally follow my urges and just text or call
Thing is I don’t know what to say
I’ve said everything I needed to
We all know I dig him
Hell maybe I actually love him
Or is it just the idea of him I created in my head?
God I hope I’m not in love with a fiction character
But it could be worse I guess
One thing life teaches you is it can always get worse
For some reason, the thought that he might love me
I feel all these things just thinking he loves me
What if I actually knew?
Is that why they sang « I believe I can fly »?
I certainly understand
And what if it’s just chemicals in our brains?
Well screw it I’ll take that drug
All. Fucking. Day. Long.
Life has been so shitty for decades in my case, and when its gets better, your brain reminded you of some mad issues you forgot to deal with. I want the butterflies bro. You should also get the butterflies. And yes, it is a drug, and tes we are vulnerable af to it, and yes we will hurt more than them if shit hits the fan, because our hearts were either locked down 6 feet underground or they have been on are sleeves ready to be torn appart.
But how the fuck doesn’t want to feel alive ?
What if this life is all there is ?
Fuck what anyone thinks. Fuck looking like a fool, fuck getting rejected or ridiculed.
Just Fuck it.
I watched a TV show when i was a teen about a Schizophrenic teacher of psychology. And here a quote from that show : le meilleure moyen de resister a la tentation, c’est d‘y céder.
If he came back in your life, if he in fact never left from your thoughts, bitch if this drug makes you strong fucking use it
Be real, be raw in love. Because where the fuck else could you ever be that ? Don’t trust him
Trust yourself to be fine if he breaks your bound
Believe that anyone who truly knows you would want to be a part of your life #DrakeInMyFeelings