If you ever see him

*read while listening to "Minefields" by Faouzia*

Tell him I miss him

Tell him it wasn’t easy

Tell him I still question myself

Tell him I love him

And I’m not sure I’ll love someone else as much as I loved him

Tell him he was all I wanted and hoped for

Except he didn’t love me enough

He didn’t love me enough for me to know

He didn’t love me enough to make space for me in his life

Which I desperately needed

I wanted to be a priority because he was

I wanted to be number one, because he was

Tell him I’m sorry

Tell him I’m mad, sad and confused

Tell him I’ll be okay though

Tell him I want him to be happy and to thrive

Tell him I’ll always root for him

Tell him

While a small part of me hopes he never moves on

I strongly hope he’ll be the man I know he can be

I hate that we didn’t make it work

But I’m grateful for every second I spent with him

He might be my soulmate

He might not be

But one thing I know is

I love him

With everything I am.